Have you heard anyone say this? Have you said this?
“Everything overwhelms me since Mom died. I feel completely off-kilter with work, life and schedules. I sent my kids to sports in less-than-clean jerseys, the laundry is taking over the house, I forgot to feed the dog, and Skip The Dishes is my new best friend. I’m at a loss to keep it all together. I’m exhausted and emotional all of the time.”
“She hadn’t been herself for a long time. In some ways I was relieved that her pain was over. But I miss her so much. It feels like I will never feel whole again. My ambition, joy, and enjoyment of life are just gone.”
“I feel so alone. Everyone still depends on me for everyday things, but it’s hard. I can’t think straight and my memory is so foggy since the funeral. I feel like part of me died with my brother and I don’t know how to get ‘me’ back.”
Grief is a personal journey — your own experience of loss. Everyone responds differently and there is no right way. How you cope, what you need from others, your reactions or challenges — these are all just yours. Or are they?
Women, in particular, find themselves at a nexus after the loss of someone or something significant. Needing compassion and empathetic care themselves, women are often the ones needing to provide help and support to others. Home or work life doesn’t stop for her because she is grieving. She may be a leader of an organization or time-crunched professional. She could be a parent of young children, a supportive partner, or a caring daughter. Usually she is a combination of all of these, stretched thin even before grief takes hold.
And then someone she loves dies. Her grief is real and debilitating: a deep ache, overwhelming stress, lack of sleep, anxiety, depression, or a sense of not coping. Myriad things may keep her from being the person she needs to be for her family, friends, colleagues and staff. Balance seems to exist only in a parallel universe. In the midst of all of this, she needs to know that she can find support and compassion — and that she is not alone.