Circuit Training
This program answers the question of how Pavlov’s dogs must have felt when he rang that feeding bell. My trainer’s stopwatch beeped every 50 seconds, signalling exercisers to switch from cardio machines to weight-lifting stations and vice-versa.
Circuit training was a game of musical chairs where the chairs never went away; they just got sweatier. Perfect for my short attention span, I channel surfed from one machine to another, getting the gist of each exercise and moving on before boredom ensued. My only concern was that the quick rotation might cheat me of a real workout, but when I crossed my arms over my chest for sit ups, the Rorschach sweat blot on my t-shirt convinced me otherwise.
Intensity: 4/5 Fun: 4/5
TRX Suspension Mixer
When I spotted the suspension straps and Bosu balls, I felt like a freshman who had stumbled into a master class.
Between the gymnastic rings attached to the swing set and the Cyclops’ half eyeball, I feared epic failure was in my near future, but my instructor eased me into the session. She helped me climb on to the wobbling Bosu ball for the warm up. I surfed the angry Jell-O for several minutes, trying to stay upright before she mercifully moved us to the TRX suspension straps, where I wiped out. My body listed to one side as I struggled to pull myself up on the straps, and my arms soon felt as rubbery as the Bosu ball.
By the last lift, I couldn’t wait to return to the portable moon bounce, and I knew this session was for fitter people than me.
Intensity: 5/5 Fun: 2.5/5
Spin Class
At first, I felt like I was racing against Alice in Wonderland‘s Red Queen, but at least I didn’t have to flick caterpillars out of my hair. The variety came from simulating different riding situations.
On my instructor’s signal, I ramped up my bike’s resistance level to replicate a hill climb or pedalled fast for 15 seconds to recreate what it’s like to pass another bike.
Most of the session, I stayed on the seat so as not to overtax my legs, but this turned out to be a painful mistake. Let’s just say there’s a part of the male anatomy that shouldn’t be treated like a sandwich in a panini press. Next time, I’ll ask for a cushion.
Intensity: 5/5 Fun: 3/5 (With butt cushion: 4)