Lunch Break: Die Pie

I am not a vegetarian/vegan, even though, years ago, I tried it out for a while. That was back when I had long hair and listened to hardcore music. I had a ponytail and didn’t eat meat. I mean, if I could go back in time and punch myself in the face, I would.

Now, I have greying, receding hair and listen to hardcore music. And I’m a pretty unapologetic meat-eater. You know how it goes: “I was a vegetarian once… so I will have two rare steaks, and extra gravy, too!” Reformed vegetarians are the worst (or best, depending on your point of view).

That’s not to say I don’t enjoy vegan/vegetarian dishes. But what always got to me — even back in the day when I tried the vegetarian thing — was the need to make fake meat. Want to eat lentils and salad? Awesome. Why did I need “hotdogs” or “chicken” that were just… gluten-heavy deepfakes?

But, on this day, I’m ready to put my anti-fake-meat bias on hold. I’m going to Die Pie for lunch, and, going for the grand Poobah of fake meats — the Vegan Meat Lovers pizza.

Die Pie, in some shape or form, has been slinging plant-based pizzas since 2017. It’s now located north of Unity Square. If you park by the Staples, you just need to look to the entranceway that’s off to the left, which will lead you to Die Pie’s front door.

So, how does a cheeze, chickun and beaf pizza stack up? (Yes, those are the spellings of the vegan versions of meat and dairy items. I feel like I should change my name to Steav for the rest of this review. Steav, it is) Pretty good. The bacun parm that covers the pizza imparts almost a nacho cheese flavour. Like, in a good way. And, the crust is about as perfect as you’ll find from an Edmonton pizza place. It’s one part chewy, one part crusty. The San Marzano tomato sauce is tangy and sweet, and there’s a really nutty bite with the vegan cheeze and “meats.” It’s as if pizza met a bowl of snacks you’ve brought out for the big game.